With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize