Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
