Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
