they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize