He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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