sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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