and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
