Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
