dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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