His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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