i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
