New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
