Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
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Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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