Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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