Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
