so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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