I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
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he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
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Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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