their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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