I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
