I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I deserve this hangover.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
