Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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