Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize