So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
People in love make me want to vomit
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
