I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
