Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
