I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
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He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
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We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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