Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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