I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My balls are so social today.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
a search helicopter?!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
