wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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