The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He has the fingertips of a God
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
