he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
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I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
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I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow