you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.