He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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