Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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