and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize