Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
