he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
