The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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