so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
