everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
