We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
