I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
