I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
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Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
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My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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