my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize