Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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