Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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