He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
