god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
