I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
did you just send me my own nude
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
