All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
