i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
