Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
