I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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