really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize