Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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