4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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